Emotional Honesty is the cure…?

Every morning I wake up with a sunny disposition and eagerness to take on my day. My routine is consistent and precise. I wake to the sounds of nature take a few moments to give thanks and gratitude to Source Energy, Ancestors and my Higher Self. I grab my Law of Attraction journal and plan out the events and tasks I am to complete for the day. I write out a few manifestation goals and recite my Affirmations. I take a moment to digest it all with 30 minutes of deep meditation and work it out with 30 minutes of Yoga. I activate my altar by burning some incense then light a candle and pay homage to my Ancestors and freshen up their food and drink offerings. I wrap it all up by burning some Sage and/or Paleo Santo as I prepare to wake up the rest of the household. Depending on the season I may open up the windows and doors to allow the energy to flow in and out as needed. 

Breakfast consist of Green Tea or warm Lemon water with fresh Non-GMO and organic fruit and veggies, smoothies for my daughters and Avocado Toast. This is the only part of my routine where I may switch up periodically. I check in on the girls to see if they are up preparing for their day. If it’s the weekend, they will most likely sleep until its time to go to the market or any other weekend errands. 

My day flows well throughout as I come and go. I absolutely love my Job. It affords me the financial support and creative energy to manage my businesses and personal life perfectly. I work with awesome, smart, kind and genuine people. The financial freedom and stability I have keeps my family passports active and our weekends luxurious. The best part of my finances is I don’t have to do much. Money flows to me in abundance even while I sleep and lounge. I keep the affluence of money going through my giving. As a philanthropist I teach my daughters new ways of giving back to our community and various charities. 

This is me living a Life of Leisure through manifestation and alchemy. I am Living my Best Life!  I take full responsibility and ownership of the life I live and all that goes on with it. I give no credit or blame to no one. Even in the rough times I create it all. That alone is the power of creation and the fuel to see it through. Now to the question most of you all are thinking. How did and/or do I achieve and maintain this all? 

Allow me a moment or two of honesty. The truth is Life is how you see it and this is how I see my Life even if I fail to give offerings to my Ancestors today or devour a bowl of sugary cereal. This is how I see my Life regardless of how much I actually hate my job and regardless of how many times I had to rewrite my budgeting goals due to financial concerns. I’m actually pretty lucky if I can get one day out the week like this, let alone one day out the month, but I’m completely ok with that. I know despite appearances my life is exactly as it should be. It is with effortless ease and trust in the Universe that I surrender knowing the Universe bears no ill to me so I will bear no ill to it. It’s those perfect days that remind me of my goal. I remember and hold fast to my vision of a “Life of Leisure” so on my bad days I don’t get caught up in the moment. There is a quote that I look at daily for those days or moments when things seem to not go my way. 

“Was it a bad day? Or was it a bad five minutes that you milked all day?”

~ TobyMac

You have to decide regardless of how emotionally hard it gets to not milk a whole day out of a bad five minutes. Do not allow one cloud to bring gloom to your whole day. See past or through the illusion. I credit this blog of Emotional Honesty to my horrible week at work and to the 2nd late payment notice that came in the mail just as I watched my credit score peak over in to the yellow. I also credit this to the $3600.00 dental bill due to the gap in insurance and the break down of both the washing machine and dryer in one week. Also, the misunderstanding and message that went lost in translation resulting in the silent treatment between the beau and me. I can’t forget to credit this to the will power that decided to go missing during my snack & TV binge last week. I’ll go ahead and give a shout out to the monkey mind during my meditation last night and last and definitely not least to the question this morning “Mommy, are you ever going to make it to one of my field trips this year?” … 

Despite it all I see my “Life of Leisure”. Its here and more real than the “Illusionary Fuck Shit” we allow to weight us down (shout out to Tracy G”). So in closing, allow me to answer the question before my long moment of honesty. 

How did and/or do I achieve and maintain this all?

…Emotional Honesty of course…

I allow my good days to be good days and my bad moments to be bad moments. I remember my vision and everyday I step more and more into it. Transparency is healing. When we stop the “Keeping up with the illusion” syndrome, we start to live a little more and more. I realize as I’m writing this, that if a past due notice and a bowl of sugary cereal is what’s causing me to not live out my “Life of Leisure”, then look here I’m closer than I think. Once you understand your “emotions” are the driving force behind your failures, disappointments and illusions you will start to see that it’s not the situation that’s the problem it’s your own perspective. You become honest about how you are truly feeling. You begin to take back your power to alchemize your life and allow the Emotional Honesty be the cure to a more jovial Life. So let’s get to the point. I know that some of the less desirable circumstances and people that can sometimes happen in our day to day can be distracting and frustrating to say the least. So let’s be emotionally honestly, eh? This is for those days when we just don’t fucking want to be Zen OK!  How about we get ok with saying; “Fuck! Shit is all out of balance right now, where’s my muthinfuckin Sage and my muthinfuckin Crystals? I need to get this shit da fuck on and up out of here! Peace and muthinfucking Light to yo raggedy ass spirit, now get the fuck out my face while I balance these muthinfuckin energies, Bitch!”

Love,

TheCitrineGoddess

Edit by: Tyrean Lewis & Monique Kirksey

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A Love Known…

I had something to write about I was full of frustration and creativity. It was the spring of 2013. I was on medical leave from my job due to surgery and basically had a lot of time on my hands. I was bursting with “writers flow” then it all stop. I don’t recall the reason for the “writers block” but it was real and heavy. I manage to pull together my first book a year later called Goddess University but knew that was just a cop out to what I really wanted to write. My writers block is cleared and I am filling up with words. I know my cup is about to over flow so I’m considering revisiting my non fiction novel ” A Love Known” (don’t hold me to that title,yet). Nothing has been edited yet, so look past the grammatical errors and tell me what you think. This excerpt is only the beginning of my characters journey with love. Who’s here for the whole story?

love known…

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Enjoy a small excerpt taken from “love known” by LoveWisdomPeace affectionately known as MoniqueNicoleKirksey..

It was such a beautiful starry, warm summer night out with some friends at the local lounge a few building away from my apartment. We were just preparing to part ways for the evening after supporting a good friend playing in his first appearance with a new local band. I’m giving my love, hugs and congrats to the band, when I’m drawn a few times to what looks to be “love” that is exuding from a couple a few tables from mine. They were laughing, hugging and appeared to be unfazed by the remaining spectators lingering around. Unable to understand why I’m concerned by this or why I’m focusing on how he smiled at her and touched her hair. And that’s when reality set in…I softly gasp because now he noticed me. Quickly Turing hoping he was looking pass me and not at me. I slyly glance over my shoulder to see if they had left and as I exhale turning back around to give my last “see you laters” I saw they were now just inches from me. Trying not to lock eye contact again I walked away looking busy search for probably my courage in my purse, but I must have left it at home. What was I to say or do but get out of there. There is nothing he would want to say to me or better yet hear from me. I never wanted to break his heart but I did, if only he knew my heart at that time wasn’t completely healed then, he maybe would have understood the reason I said what I said the last time we were together. Knowing he know I’m feeling a shamed he stared at me as I walked out the building and I felt his eyes on my back the whole time. Hoping I was wrong I turn one last time only to see straight into his thoughts and he into mine. I’m not sure if it was seconds or minutes of this telepathy we exchanged but I knew I had to say something. Just not right now, better yet not in person. Finding that my courage was alive and well I picked up my phone knowing he was starring still and decided a text would have to be enough in that moment. I didn’t want to disrespect the woman he was with but I had to respect the love me and him once shared. “No need to respond to this text but Love looks good on you,,,” I pressed send in hopes I’m not pressing any of his emotional buttons and dropped my phone into my purse. I walked outside into much needed fresh air as I silently prayed he wouldn’t respond and if he did I wouldn’t hear the notification amongst the city noise. I siked myself into being intrigue with a crowd around a saxophonist playing on the corner. Forcefully I focus on the tune he played knowing I feared the moment that my phone notified me of a text, that I would quickly retrieve it looking for his response. “Don’t text me”,”Delete my number” or “Fuck You” is what I was expecting. I guess I deserved it. No one likes to hear “I won’t love you how you need to be loved, so I’m asking you to walk away” I said this two years ago and I regret having to say that but I had to tell the truth to him. I was empty and lacking in love to give to anyone, yet truly I know how to love deeply. I wholeheartedly love my family my friends yet falling in love again doesn’t excite me. I’m thankful I was given the chance to feel love and have known love. I’m thankful and not at all bitter or scorn, just un moved. I still love, I love life, laugher, joy, rain and honestly I really love to hear a saxophonist play. I love memories, sounds coming from a open window on a summer night , nature, and my god or goddess there is. I love the first taste of sweet red wine after a long day, the laughter of my daughters and the big smile they give when their asking for something. I love the awkward first kiss and the I’m sorry hugs. But I’m not in love with the idea of being in love again. I looked in my purse for some lose dollars and change for the musician and spotted a crumble dollar and fifteen cents I reached for it and noticed that all of that manipulation of tricking my mind to focus on something other than his possible response to my text, work! I saw my phone flash alerting me that I missed a call and text. Quickly tossing the money in the instrument case and scuffing out the crowd to find the sidewalk path back to my apartment and thinking do I want to read this? I detour to a bench behind the crowd and sat down. Taking a big sigh I tapped the new message while thinking I want him to experience love in the highest form and know that he deserve it. I read the text and was peacefully overwhelmed to see his response it was the closure I needed and the reassurance that my prayers and hopes of his forgiveness for me where done. Rereading the text before I got up to walk home I smiled and tilt my head back to glance at the stars … Because I could hear his voice in my head saying it to me “And no need for you to respond to this text but, love would look even better on you” ….

 

This photo taken the day I wrote Love Known. Although it do not appear to be a joyful expression believe it is a peaceful one. I don’t always appear to be smiling on the outside my Joy is within. I am a very deep thinker as I gaze off I wonder if this Non Fiction Novel will heal my Love Lost or at least heal the heart of the broken, may the latter prevail!!!!

The Blank Page Experiment!

TheBlankPage Theory!

Testing out my level of creative expression.

Seeking the amount of depth I have within. The artful use of words will never shed perfect light on truth for words diminish the fullest meaning of what  is. However, words have never disappoint when they are carefully orchestrated. They have the ability to invoke emotion. Because like words, emotion is a illusion. The illusion we feel in joy and love and anger is all fleeting. Memory is like a anchor on a sailing ship. Sometimes it is nessasary to throw down the anchor to bask in moments that fuel memories. So. Does this mean I have reveal truth through words or provided valid proof of illusionary expression? I can carry on like this forever but I always wonder is “forever” really real. Is eternity parallel to forever. Does forever diminish what one think eternity is or does forever diminish eternity. Depth? How deep is deep. When can we call something deep? Depth and Eternity feels comparable. How misleading words can be.

May a blank page speak louder than silence!
***The Blank Page experiment is my way of facing my fear and excuses I create on a daily about why I don’t write anymore or at least share it publicly. My fear of a Black Page is that its blank because I have nothing of importance to say OR is it designed that way to pull MY truth out of me. Do the Blank Page exaggerate my fear unnecessarily and the ridicule I foresee is just a extreme illusion? In it all I give thanks to the birth of the Blank Page Experiment, Im sure some will not get it and I give thanks to not giving a fuck for that. Better yet I’m more excited to those who do and will take this journey along with me. The Blank Page Experiment welcomes grammatical errors because flaws Do Not Diminish Greatness! Hashtag #TheBlankPageExperiment #TBPE I here for it all, Let’s conquer the Blank Page.
Love,
TheCitrineGoddess

TheCitrineGoddess Etsy shop is restocked with new items!!! 🔮✨💫💋

Check out what’s new at TheCitrineGoddess Etsy shop! Intuitive Tarot Readings!!! Below is what I offer in a Mini- Intuitive Tarot Reading!

This reading provides insight on daily general concerns such as Love, Career, Health, Passions, Life Purpose and more. I intuitively see probability patterns that you create and identify the blockages so that you can work through them and thus create the outcome that you prefer. This reading is designed so that you co-create your happiness and manifest your highest potential, purpose and vision.

My goal is to reveal YOUR ability to connect to YOUR higher/primordial self so that YOU can effectively tap into YOUR own divine essence.

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**Remember you have the ability to effect change regardless of what is revealed. And all readings are channeled in Light and Love!!!

Sending Light and Love

TheCitrineGoddess💋

Asè ✨💫🔮

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Goddess University by Monique N. Kirksey (TheCitrineGoddess)

Learn how to embrace your natural beauty, create your Queendom and enhance your spirituality. 

Excerpt from chapter 8

Reveal & Nurture the Goddess within you!

Greatness and beauty do not belong to the gods alone. ~ Nigerian Proverbs

The secret is there is no better savior than you… Contrary to what we’ve been taught, seeking guidance through astrology, our ancestors, our food choices and certainly our thoughts and meditation is what develops our God-Essences. And no I’m not saying you are God, Creator of this magnificent Universe or world. I am saying we are the most unique species the creator has created and our powers are limitless. We all are able to achieve great things just by identifying our inner goddess potential and then developing it to the highest potential. Revealing the goddess within you will reveal God…Never become content with what you know. Wisdom is the crown of the goddess…

Goddess University reveals the secrets to embracing your natural beauty creating your queendom and enhancing your spirituality. These basic transitional steps can be used to manifest and transform yourself into your highest potential and life’s purpose. Tap into your inner Goddess to reveal secrets to Power and Seduction and how to use them to unlock unlimited opportunities. Enroll yourself into a wealth of knowledge and receive spiritual development with this book of higher learning. Click the link below to get a peak inside and to purchase a copy.

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with Love & Light

TheCitrineGoddess💫✨💋